Monarch’s Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse
The reliable guide on how you will survive a Zombie Apocalypse
What to put in the survival kit a.k.a. backpack:
- A pocket knife or just anything sharp like scissors, nail files, pens. If sharp enough, you can defend yourself against former loved ones and bullies …even if they aren’t zombies
- Food, preferably something that you can eat over a long time and that also stays edible for a long time–something like candy.
- A first aid kid some bandaids, hydrogen peroxide, and maybe some bandages just so you don’t immediately bleed to death.
- Toilet paper–it’s multifunctional–let your imagination go wild
- A lighter, matches or fireworks–or just funny things that you can light on fire and throw into a horde of zombies.
- WATER–without it you’re dead anyway
- A book or some video games.. just so you can game between being chased by zombies and/or chasing zombies.
- A compass: not the math thing for the circles a real one like legit to see the four directions–I mean if only if you do not want to get lost
- Some batteries: for just anything that’s electronic and is old enough to not always need an outlet
- SURVIVORS it’s better to work in a group and have more hands to fight. Just make sure you’re faster than them– you don’t have to be faster than the zombies–just faster than the slowest in the group.
- A needle kit to fix your clothes–I mean come on be a man you’re out fighting the undead you don’t have to look perfect.
- And of course a flame thrower, just because… It’s a FLAMETHROWER who wouldn’t want to burn these–things–to crispy little piles?!