Study Accentuates Power of the Fan
New study finds that sports fans actually have a huge impact on the outcome of sporting events.
Students cheer at the 2012 state championship football game. The fans certainly helped the Monarch football team, who won 17-14. (Charlie Light)
A new study released by Bullings Shatford Institute for Advanced Social Sciences this past Tuesday has cemented the fact that fans have an actual outcome on professional athlete’s performance.
The study published in reputable scientific journals across the country deals exclusively with fans that are not even at the sporting event. The study said, “While it is well-known that fans at the event can influence the teams, such as Seattle’s much-talked about 12th man, we have found that fans at home actually have a larger impact on the outcome of the game.”
This news only cements the convictions of die-hard sports fans everywhere who consistently scream at their televisions and phones in a (now-scientifically vindicated) attempt to make full grown men play a sport better.
Researchers at the Shatford Institute meticulously measured the output of 500, 25 to 45 year old males during major sporting events across the country. They found that “when fans expressed the most rage and especially when they broke household items the players on the TV screen played significantly better.”
One of the most surprising findings of the study was that when fans shouted instructions to the coach such as “run the damn ball” or “this kid can’t catch a cold, put in the rookie from my alma mater” they did exactly that.
Spencer Couch from Cleveland, Ohio said, “[I’m] not very surprised with the findings. I honestly know that I call the shots up here in Cleveland and I hold a lot of power from my blue suede couch, you’re goddamn right I’m the man.”
This study may also hold repercussions in the future. Roger Goodell, NFL commissioner, said in a recent interview, “It’s quite possible we’re going to have to start paying fans for the huge impact they have. In the future if one of our teams wishes to be successful they’re going to need to invest in a core group of dads and angry uncles to spur their team to victory.”
A man who identified himself as ‘Uncle Vinny’ from upstate New York weighed in, “I was a high school long-snapper so you could say I’m somewhat of an expert in the zone-read offense and I think a lot of NFL teams would be foolish not to hire my sharp mind and Coors-light crushing take no prisoners attitude.”
