When I was younger, the environment I grew up in didn’t offer opportunities to ever learn about what being queer meant. The moment I was old enough to understand words, typical gender norms were thrust upon me.
As I started to learn more about sexuality, eventually I realized I was part of the queer community. I no longer fit into what was “normal”, and that terrified me. I never saw positive depictions of gay people when I was younger, and consequently felt like I was wrong, and that my family would never look at me the same.
I hated that every time my mom talked about dating, it was always about how I would find a boyfriend when I was older. I kept asking myself, “Why do I have to be so scared to tell my loved ones that I like both girls and boys?” Why was it wrong? Yet every single person in my life kept pushing the idea that it wasn’t normal to be queer.
This idea that everyone is inherently straight is an idea known as heteronormativity; A view that gender roles are fixed and heterosexuality is the norm. Stereotypes and assumptions such as these are harmful to introduce to impressionable children. It shrinks their worldview to believing there is only one way to correctly experience love, and if you stray from this norm, you’re wrong.
Since as early as the 1910s, queer people have been vilified, used as comedic relief, and been underrepresented. During the early days of film there were unspoken rules in the industry regarding how queer characters should be depicted. Queer characters weren’t allowed to have a happy ending, because if the media depicted these “sinful” people experiencing happiness, that would have implied the idea that they weren’t deserving of torment.
As the world continues to progress toward a more accepting society, positive queer representation has been evident in the media. “Modern Family” had a significant impact on the legalization of same-sex marriage. Allowing viewers to sympathize and understand queer relationships causing more voters to be in favor of the law being passed. More recent examples like “Heated Rivalry”, a show that provided hockey player Jesse Kortuem the confidence to come out.
Even so, while there continues to be better representation for the queer community, there is still a long way to go. Companies constantly use queer people as a marketing tactic rather than an actual group of people with feelings.
People make the argument that “not everything needs to be gay” when it comes to movies and TV shows. I wholeheartedly disagree with this.
For the longest time, queer people have only received crumbs of their lives shown to them on the screen. So when we can find characters that are reflective of our lives and experiences, we have every right to indulge.
Queer people just want to have representation. Not halfhearted, stereotypical representation, but stories that accurately represent what it’s like to be queer.
To really foster a more accepting community, continuing to address the disadvantage the queer community has when it comes to representation is crucial. Keep the conversation about your experiences alive, because it’s not wrong to want your love shown on screen.
As Harvey Fierstein once said, “There are lots of needs for art and the greatest one is the mirror of our own lives and our own existence. And that hunger that I felt as a kid, looking for gay images, was to not be alone.”
